The ability to make 'small talk' is
highly valued. In fact, many English students are more interested in making
effective small talk than knowing correct grammar structures - and rightly so!
Small talk gets friendships started and 'breaks the ice' before important
business meetings and other events.
WHAT IS SMALL TALK?
Small
talk is pleasant conversation about common interests.
WHY IS SMALL TALK DIFFICULT FOR SOME
ENGLISH LEARNERS?
First
of all, making small talk is not difficult only for English learners, but also
for many native speakers of English. However, small talk can be especially difficult for some learners because
making small talk means talking about almost anything - and that means having a
wide vocabulary that can cover most topics. Most English learners have excellent
vocabulary in specific areas, but may have difficulties discussing topics they
are unfamiliar with because of a lack of appropriate vocabulary.
This
lack of vocabulary leads to some students 'blocking'. They slow down or stop
speaking completely because of a lack of self-confidence.
HOW TO IMPROVE SMALL TALK SKILLS
Now
that we understand the problem, the next step is to improve the situation. Here
are some tips to improve small talk skills. Of course, making effective small
talk means lots of practice, but keeping these tips in mind should improve
overall conversational skills.
Do some research
Spend
time on the Internet, reading magazines, or watching TV specials about the type
of people you are going to meet.
For
example: If you are taking a class with students from other countries, take
time after the first few days of class to do some research. They will
appreciate your interest and your conversations will be much more interesting.
Stay away from religion/strong
political beliefs
While
you may believe in something very strongly, beginning conversations and making
small talk about your own personal convictions may abruptly end the
conversation.
Keep it light, don't try to convince the other person that you have the
'correct' information about a higher being, political system or other belief
system.
Use the Internet to gain specific
vocabulary
This
is related to doing research about other people. If you have a business meeting, or are meeting people who
share a common interest (a basketball team, a tour group interested in art,
etc.), take advantage of the Internet to learn specific vocabulary. Almost all
businesses and interest groups have glossaries on the Internet explaining the
most important jargon related to their business or activity.
Ask yourself about your culture
Take
time to make a list of common interests that are discussed when making small
talk in your own culture. You can do this in your own language, but check to
make sure that you have the English vocabulary to make small talk
about those subjects.
Find common interests
Once
you have a subject that interests both of you, keep to it! You can do this in a
number of ways: talking about travel, talking about the school or friend you
have in common, talking about the differences between your culture and the new
culture (just be careful to make comparisons and not judgments, i.e., The food
in our country is better than the food here in England").
Listen
This
is very important. Don't get so worried about being able to communicate that
you don't listen. Listening carefully will help you understand and encourage
those speaking to you. You might be nervous, but letting others state their
opinions will improve the quality of the discussion - and give you time to
think of an answer!
COMMON SMALL TALK SUBJECTS
Here
is a list of common small talk subjects. If you have difficulties speaking
about any of these topics, try to improve your vocabulary by using the resources available
to you (Internet, magazines, teachers at school, etc.)
- Sports - current
matches or games, favorite teams, etc.
- Hobbies
- Weather - boring, but
can get the ball rolling!
- Family - general
questions, not questions about private matters
- Media - films, books, magazines, etc.
- Holidays - where,
when, etc. but NOT how much!
- Home town - where do
you come from, how is it different/similar to this town
- Job - once again,
general questions not too specific
- Latest fashion and trends
- Celebrities - any
gossip you may have!
Here
is a list of topics that probably aren't very good for small talk. Of course,
if you are meeting a close friend these topics may be excellent. Just remember
that 'small talk' is generally discussion with people you don't know very well.
- Salary - how much do
you make? - That's none of your business!
- Politics - wait to
you get to know the person better
- Intimate
relationships - only for you and your partner - or maybe your best friend
- Religion - tolerance
is the key!
- Death - we need to
face it, but not the first time we meet someone new
- Financial - related
to salary above, most people prefer to keep financial information to
themselves
- Sales - Don't try to sell something to someone you have just met.
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